I Was Attacked

I vibe with birds.

They figured out how to fly.

They soar, like eagles.

They drop out the sky like missiles – bound for a target.

Which is where the story gets interesting for us.

On one section of the ride I do often…

I have to go through a guantlet of male red-winged blackbirds.

They are viscious defenders of some unknown nest or property line.

They go ape. For real.

This one section of my ride looks like a perfect gladiator arena for Red Winged Blackbird vs. Dude on Beach Cruiser Bike.

On my ride, I ride with these power poles on my right with corn/soybeans on both sides. The birds see me coming and FLY UP out of the field, to perch on the power poles above me.

They see me as someone who needs their ass kicked.

this is the road where the birds attack

I disagree, obviously.

Here is how it goes.

I am riding on this one stretch of pavement where there is no close bike path.

It’s about a mile through corn fields, it’s gorgeous.

On the right hand side, you will see some powerlines.

The red-winged blackbird is the ‘honey badger’ of birds.

It does not give a shit.

I have seen them attack a semi truck, a Toyota or a dude on a bike.

I try to ride past these poles and the attack starts.

Three or four birds dive-bomb my head.

They attack my helmet like bird linebackers.

They hate my helmet so much.

They hate me so much.

I have been attacked so many times, I have pictures, lol.

The only solution, is ride away! Lol.

Is your life boring? Go ride a bike.

Get assaulted by birds, it’s pretty fun.

The A-Hole on Wings

Leave a Reply