29 Inch Beach Cruiser

cruiser bike mystery school

How My 29 Inch Walmart Beach Cruiser Changed My Life?

In 2012, my life was upside down. I was getting divorced. My business was tanking. I moved to a state where I didn’t know anyone. The only people I knew were my ex-wife and my 5 year old son.

I was not a happy camper. I was in Iowa, but moved from Austin, Texas. Which is like moving from The Emerald City to Kansas. I was moving into a new phase of life. Old Guy. Old… Divorced Guy.

Until I said, “Enough. I am going to do something for me today.”

I went to a local bike shop. I had money to spend on a bike. I had owned expensive bikes in my day. But I felt like the question I was being asked, inside those shops, was, “Are you part of the $5,000 road bike club?”

No, I am not.

I have nothing against it. I do not believe in, “Road vs. Cruise” or any drama like that. It just felt like going to the used car lot, which everyone hates. It was a locker-room kind of vibe. Not my thing.

I already went really fast in my business. I worked like crazy. I didn’t need to go really fast on a bicyle.

“How much money you got?
“How fast you want to go?”
“What do you mean, you just want to chill?”

Then they would make a fart noise with their mouth.

This is all part of the masculinity game. Any man alive will have played the game. I have won this game a few times in my life. I am not interested in playing this game any more.

They go fast on their 5k bikes. I get it.

I was 20 once too.

But after moving to Iowa, I didn’t want to race. I wanted to chill.

I didn’t want to wear spandex. I wanted to wear a t-shirt and comfortable shorts.

I didn’t want to talk about bike specs.

I don’t care about how many millimeters a thing is. I do not have a constant urge to measure everything.

I don’t want to talk about the specs on my car.

Who cares if it’s made of special carbon fibers? Does it make me happier?

Do you like going really fast on a feather-light bike?

I mean… No? That would maybe fun once a year.

But now, at nearly 50, FAST has some serious side effects.

I left the bike shops, bikeless and downtrodden.

And I did what every American does when they get fed up. I went jogging.

Jogging is terrible. It’s as though a large sledge hammer gives you a bodyshot, from the bottom of your foot.

However, jogging has one thing that biking does not: They are happy to jog in circles. People just run around to get ‘cardio’ or whatever. Circles around the block. But you never ‘jog to the store’ or ‘run to the dentist.’

Biking has the opposite problem. When you ride a bike, we assume you are biking to somewhere, to a place.

Meanwhile, things were not going well for me, a Texan in Iowa. The bike shops (in 2012) were prepping dudes for the Invisible Race. A future race that required total dedication to, stats and Goo bars, clip in shoes, padded shorts. It’s a lot.

Even admitting this now, makes me feel like less of a man, I have no idea what carbon fiber is… I assume it must be like fiberglass, only made of carbon and strong fiber, or whatever.

I don’t care. It’s fine for you fast-dudes. Go fast.

I go fast on my beach cruiser bike. Any two hundred pound object goes fast down hill.

But it’s not about that, for me. It’s about going to ride bikes like we did when we were kids. When we were happiest.

Riding in a pack of bikes, jumping curbs, slaying dragons, having fun. You might argue that I should just grow up and not harken back to childhood.

I see your point. But I don’t want to relive my childhood. I grew up in the 70’s in California. I’m set. I had a good childhood.

I want to do something proven to produce joy in my life, which is going to ride a bike.

I think if you were honest and looked back on your own life, bikes made you happy too. We get so caught up in looking for happiness. Go pump up the tires on your bike. If it doesn’t make you happy right away, come back tomorrow. What do you have to lose? Your sourpuss?

In 2020, just like everyone, I started crawling the walls of my house. I was looking for anything to do. Iowa in March is cold. Iowa in April is tolerable. I started riding in April. By May I was going 5-9 times a week. I went from rotund to slightly jolly, which I can tell you is an improvement. But again, it’s not about that.

Happiness makes you the correct weight. FOR REAL. You will never see this on a diet site, b/c it doesn’t sell diet pills or yoga!

29 Inch Walmart Beach Cruiser
You can create any adventure you want. April, 2020

You can get happier on a bike, ANY BIKE. Beach Cruiser Bikes or $5,000 bikes. Just go ride!

As long as it can Cruise. Or more aptly, as long as you can Cruise on the bike…

What does it mean to Cruise?

It’s to go find a spot and ride around, kind of like you did at the roller skating rink. Just go cruise around. Until you smile.

And that’s The Cruise. Smiling on a bike, while riding to Now. Not going anywhere, just Cruising. Not for any type of human. For all humans. Just Cruise.

The Cruise is how you are feeling when you are riding a bike and smiling.

Do you need a beach cruiser bike to Cruise?

No. Honestly you can cruise on almost any bike. Track bikes to trick bikes, just slow them down and go for a ride in a local parking lot, park or your driveway, and just Cruise around. Let the bike teach you how to ride again. And it’s easy, that’s why they say it’s just like riding a bike.

So what about this 29 Inch Walmart Beach Cruiser?

I use it as a tool, as one of the students here are CBMS, to show you that you can get out on a bike and have a quality experience for not much money.

That anyone who was intimidated by going to bike shop could go into Walmart in 20 minutes and walk out with a bike that would help them smile.

My recommendation is a walmart cruiser bike, just because i have loved mine. Here are a few more reasons to consider a single speed cruiser bike for women or men.

  • It only has one gear.
  • It only has one gear.
  • It only has one gear.

You might have trouble understanding why that’s important, so let me explain. And I don’t do this to be all GEAR HEAD-Y, it’s just to explain in a way that exposes the simple reason to consider it if you only have one bike.

29 Inch Walmart Beach Cruiser
Simple is Better, like my 29 Inch Walmart Beach Cruiser

If a bike only has one gear, there is less to fiddle with while enjoying the ride. This can not be overstated. I am often on rides with friends where I can hear them cursing and crunching through gears to “GET UP THAT HILL” in whatever manner they expect to be delivered on guilded gear to the top.

I can ride to the top of any hill or small mountain around on my beach cruiser. Do I really need more than that? Isn’t that enough?

I have ridden to the top of Mount Trashmore, our dump-turned tourist attraction on my genesis beach cruiser without stopping, with no ‘gears’.

Which is all to say that it’s a lot. Simplicity is simpler. I smile more.

And bikes with gears have to be tuned up. I took my Walmart cruiser to the bike shop two times in since 2012. That’s Pretty great!

Also, Bikes with gears have to be tuned up.

Downer.

To recap: The 29 Inch Walmart Beach Cruiser bike by Genesis was a cheap bike that I have used hundreds of times since 2012. I have used that bike to go Cruise, just have fun riding a bike.

You can do that too by grabbing any bike in your garage and going for a ride. If you don’t have one, ask a pal. If you have no pals (been there) go to Walmart and ask them for their bikes, find a simple one, buy it and go ride until smiling, or The Cruise.

Enjoy!

Dig, CBMS

P.S. This is not an ad. This bike is out of production. I just love it. And think you should find your own version of the 29 Inch Walmart Beach Cruiser and go for a Cruise.

* This is not an ad

By Brian

Our mission is to get you on a bike to go for a Cruise. To return what it was like to ride bikes when we were kids. Return the Cruise.

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